“New Strain” is coronavirus part two, and everyone is already used to coronavirus hysteria.

So part two can get even weirder and dumber.


Forget visiting New York City if you’re British. Sheriff’s deputies will visit the home or hotel of “every single traveler” from the UK to make sure they’re quarantined, Mayor Bill de Blasio has announced, effective immediately.

Citing the threat of a “new strain” of the virus reportedly recorded in London and southern England, de Blasio announced the measure on Wednesday, during a press briefing urging Big Apple residents not to travel or gather for the upcoming holidays.

“We cannot take chances with anyone that travels, particularly folks who travel in from the UK.”

Everyone coming into the city already has to self-quarantine for 14 days. De Blasio said that any Britons will receive a notice to that effect from the New York City Department of Health, via “certified mail.”

Then there’s going to be a follow-up direct home visit or hotel visit from the sheriff’s deputy to confirm they are following the quarantine,” he added. “Or if they do not, they will be penalized” by up to $1,000 a day.

Sheriff Joseph Fucito said that deputies will inform travelers of quarantine protocols as well as the availability of city services, including help with food, housing “or anything that will help them through their quarantine.”

There you have it: NYC cops are going to help quarantined British with food. They’re going to bring food to their hotel rooms.

“Ello, officer, might I trouble you for a cup of tea?”

“Eyyy, gabagul, you ain’t gonna be playin no golf in this here hotel room, capeesh? Now get some rest, ya knucklehead, that virus is eating out ya insides.”