Poor Boris.

He just wanted to be loved.

Then his masters came knocking…

RT:

Comedy rock group The K**ts have rocketed up the UK singles charts and are now facing off against the likes of Mariah Carey and Ladbaby for the coveted Christmas No.1 spot with their song, ‘Boris Johnson is a F***ing C***.’

The 82-second-long track contains the timeless and catchy lyrics, “Boris Johnson is a f***ing c***/ He’s a f***ing c***,” on repeat and has already peaked at number 2 on the UK iTunes chart (now sitting in fourth place) while also reaching second place on the Amazon Music charts (currently in third).

Channeling as much of the Sex Pistols-era punk shock tactics as possible, Mike Gibbons (the man behind The K**ts) claimed the track features Ca***hole on guitar, Skidmark on bass and F***sticks on drums.

Gibbons’ previous highest entry in the charts was 2010’s equally political ‘Use My A**ehole as a C**t (The Nick Clegg Story)’ with his band K**t And The Gang.

Gibbons plans to tour the country in 2021 providing venues are open again, though his plans may be dashed by the man to whom his Christmas number one contender is dedicated, given the recent spike in coronavirus cases in the UK and ensuing raft of travel restrictions and additional lockdowns.

More and more, people are sick of the lockdowns, and they are pushing back. There is some hope there.

I just don’t know if the people have the moral fortitude to really put up a real resistance (as evidenced by the silly vulgarity of their symbolic resistance).

We shall see.

Until then – I’m glad Boris, this man so obsessed with his image as a normal, nice guy who normal, nice people would love to have a pint with, is being so wrecked.